Balance and the question of: What is my “real art”?
I’ve been struggling with the fact that everyone seems to like my art featuring realistic, representational subjects rather than abstracted or impressionist subjects. I feel like the latter is more my “real art” compared to something that is just for fun or aesthetically pleasing.
It’s funny because I did a piece in college that was making fun of the fact that “real artists” made “real art” that was really hard to appreciate and rarely aesthetically pleasing. I really wanted to make beautiful art. I’d like to think that my work is still beautiful whether it is realistic or not but I wonder if it is harder to understand when it is not realistically representational.
Deciding to do art as a business seems, at times, like complete folly. And other times it seems like it might kill my artistic soul and being. I think to myself: “what have I got to lose?” as I am a stay-at-home parent for the time being. But then, things do start to fall apart when I focus too much on this business. The kids struggle with school, the house becomes messier and harder to live in, and I become sick with stress. Perhaps I just need to work more on balance. I find I like to throw myself into a thing. I derive great joy out of becoming completely submerged in something whether it be a painting, a print, a ‘zine, a marketing class for small business, or even (sometimes) cleaning the house. I think these are times when I achieve the state of “flow” and I am most content.
Balance, though, must be above all else, I am finding.
